So last night my turning-17-tomorrow son comes into the room looking for an envelope. He stuffs his letter inside then comes to me and says, "OK, Mom, you need to help me with this. What do I write?"
I looked at him incredulously. He was asking for help addressing the envelope!! Was he absent in the third grade when they taught that????
"Son, have you never addressed an envelope before? Have you never mailed a letter before?"
No, he said he had not. I've obviously failed as a mother.
So I pointed to where the name goes and he wrote his friend Zac's name. I walked him through this very difficult task of addressing an envelope. Then I explained that the stamps go in the upper right hand corner but we don't have any, we'll need to go to the post office to have his letter weighed, to see how many stamps it needed. He asked if we could go right then. He was disappointed to find out that it was 5:15 p.m. and the post office was no longer open at that late hour.
This is my son that makes really good grades in school (even in Math) and comes to my rescue at the computer when I'm bumfuzzled over projects I'm attempting on Power Point and Excel. This is the child that can speak another language better than me. He can work the universal remote for our TV. He can play guitar like nobody's business. He has memorized long poems and long passages of scripture.
Poor guy, he's a product of our technologically advanced world and can't even address an envelope! By his age I had probably addressed hundreds (maybe thousands) of envelopes. Yes, before the age of email.
He's also my child that tried to make cheese toast recently in a toaster. You know, the kind where you drop the bread into the slots and turn it on. He thought he could just also drop a slice of cheese down there with the bread and it would somehow defy the law of gravity and stick to the toast and pop out all melty and delicious.
He spent a long time digging burned cheese out of the toaster.
Happy Birthday, tomorrow, son. I love you more than you'll ever know.
Your Technologically-Challenged Mother