Most Embarrassing Moments

You know when you sit around in a group and share your most embarrassing moments? Well I can't always remember mine, although I've certainly had many. Today I had three.

As I was driving the kids to school this a.m. I suddenly needed a bathroom. We were driving right in front of a school.....actually a Nautical School. I could see the front door was open and a student was standing outside. I figured they must have a bathroom. Public bathrooms are rare in our city, most men just use the nearest wall or tree. But a. I am a woman and b. I, um, needed a real live toilet.

So I stopped the car, left my children inside, and ran up to the front door of the school. I asked the student if there was a bathroom. He replied that the one inside was locked but I could try next door at the neighboring restaurant. He directed me to go around the side of the school building to get to the restaurant. As I rounded the corner there stood a security guard with his pants half way down....or halfway up. Thankfully he was wearing boxers or maybe another pair of pants, I don't know.....I didn't look too closely. He looked very shocked to see a large, white woman come bounding around the building. All I could say when I saw him was I'm sorry, do you know where the bathroom is? I acted like he wasn't even half dressed! (I actually didn't care. I needed a bathroom, for Pete's sake!) He replied that the bathroom was locked and he did not have a key. I quickly turned around and returned to my car. By this time my stomach had calmed down , which was only the Lord answering my prayers. After I got back in the car I just started laughing, thinking of me interrupting this poor man trying to change clothes. BTW, I sometimes have stomach issues. My kids are so used to me searching for bathrooms, bless their hearts. We continued on our way to school and I was only mildly flustered when we arrived 5 minutes later and very thankful for a bathroom!

I have to go to their school on Friday mornings because I lead the chapel service for the students each week. I play guitar, we sing a few songs and we have a speaker. This a.m. as we finished singing the first song I somehow flicked my guitar pick up in the air and it went down the front of my shirt. I actually thought it went into my upper-undergarments. And I actually considered-for a split second- trying to dig it out but wisely decided against it. I continued playing the next two songs, strumming with my thumb. As I walked away to let the speaker take the floor the pick dislodged itself and fell to the floor.

A few hours later Charlie and I went to lunch at our local mall. After ordering, I went to the bathroom, a bathroom I might add I have used SEVERAL times. I passed two custodian ladies in the corridor, standing with their mops. I smiled and greeted them and continued down the hall. I somehow misinterpreted the little brass girl on the first door I came too and continued down the one-way hallway to the next bathroom door, only to see a man coming out and at the same time I hear those two dear ladies yelling at me.....Senhora, that's the men's bathroom! I'm so glad the man was coming out and the ladies were there to warn me, otherwise I might have shocked another man!